College, Drinking & Women

I love college, I love drinkin’, and I love women.  But, I love them in acutely different ways than hip-hopper Asher Roth, as evidenced in his new song, “I Love College.”  Perhaps the only source Roth referenced in college (if he indeed attended) — says, “Like many hip hop songsRoth’s song ‘I Love College’ is about partying with alcohol and marijuana, but includes lyrics such as ‘I can get pizza a dollar a slice’ that have been identified as ‘far from threatening.’”  Is the co-ordinating conjunction of this compound sentence supposed to have some neutralizing affect?
Stupefyingly, Asher Roth’s song “I Love College” manages to encompass all but one of the seven deadly sins, which may become his next contorted bragging right on Wikipedia; and although not my intent, I’m likely stirring the absent sin to rise with rage by calling this song morally decadent.  Employing strict scrutiny to claim this song as morally decadent is simply trying too hard.  It really ought to only require a basic understanding of a few elementary components of the English language and moral teaching.  It’s sadly ironic that Roth reduces the very halls of higher education that offer the privelage of developing both these things to heap of vile vices. 
Don’t believe me?  Go ahead, experiment with these mind numbing and soul rotting lyrics, but do not inhale.  Bypassing the intro and right into the chorus:
That party last night was awfully crazy, I wish we taped it
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completly naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed, but my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat, then do it again
Man, I love college
(verse one)
I wanna go to college for the rest of my life
Sip Bankers Club and drink Miller Lite
On thirsty Thursday and Tuesday night ice
And I can get pizza a dollar a slice
So fill up my cup, let’s get f*ck*d up
I’m next on the table, who want what?
I am champion at beer pong
Allen Iverson, Hakeem Olajuwon
Don’t even bounce, not in my house
Better hope you make it, otherwise you naked
Time isn’t wasted when you’re getting wasted
Woke up today and all I could say is
Um, that party last night was awfully crazy, I wish we taped it
I danced my ass off and had this one girl completly naked
Drink my beer and smoke my weed, but my good friends is all I need
Pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat, then do it again
Man, I love college (ay!)
I love drinkin’ (ay!)
I love women (ay!)
Man, I love college (ay!)
(verse two)
I can’t tell you what I learned from school, but I could tell you a story or two
Um, yeah, of course I learned some rules
Like don’t pass out with you shoes on (get the Sharpie!)
And don’t leave the house ’till the booze gone
And don’t have sex if she’s too gone
When it comes to condoms put two on (trust me)
Then tomorrow night find a new jawn
Hold the beer bong, nothing wrong with some fun (here, hold this)
Even if we did get a little just too drunk
Time isn’t wasted when you’re getting wasted
Woke up today and all I could say is
(back to the chorus)
Rejoice in the fact that I’ve spared you from reading more of Roth’s constipation of the mind and diarihea of the mouth.  Flippant is the word that comes to mind.  A frivilous disrespect of college, drinking and women earns a degree in poor stewardship and a mediocre existance… at the very best.  I’m reminded of the saying, “no man is an island,” and it has a perfect application here.  I have no doubt in my mind that this world, islands and all, would be a little bit more how it ought to be if more people respected college, drinking and women.  I’ve heard it said that the aim of education is the knowledge not of facts but of values, that beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy, and that woman is the crown jewel of creation.  Even if one disagrees with these sayings, college, drinking and women are all worthy of respect.  A thoughtful and considerate person will acknowledge this, even if they were the Asher Roth of yesteryear.
Dear Asher Roth: when it comes to muzzles put two on.
– Terrence
*Origin of Discursion: While listening to Asher Roth’s song “I Love College” on MTV.


Filed under Terrence

3 responses to “College, Drinking & Women

  1. Niki Hawthorne

    Hi Terrence. Nice blog. Good to ‘see’ you again. It’s really nice that facebook is reuniting all these ASPers.

    I think this is an interesting post, particularly because up until I went to grad school, I would have thought those lyrics were a terrible, unrealistic portrayal of college life. And then I came here. I learned that what he is describing above (I admit, I haven’t heard this song) seems completely descriptive of the lifestyle of much of the undergraduate (and to an extent graduate) populations on this campus. It leads me to lots of questions about the nature of today’s academia and what exactly schools are trying to foster and produce.

  2. blraatikka

    While I hope the song is meant at least partially tongue-in-cheek, it does touch on much of academic culture these days. I suppose the college years have always been celebrated in literature for their debauchery– maximum freedom, minimum responsibility, plus discovery of new pleasures and temptations without the requisite wisdom to handle them. Part of the “I love college” mentality is almost inevitable from that standpoint.

    But another important variable is that society lets young people get away with this stuff. Perhaps it thinks they need to “get it out of their system,” but with easy to get student debt, no limitations on the years allowed to graduate, and grade inflation, college isn’t something that you work hard at to advance to the next station in life– it’s something young people feel entitled to (with high grades, of course) and use to put off the “real world” for a while. What you bemoan about college today is a result of expecting too little of our students.

  3. FR

    wait wait. Rap is morally decadent? since when did that happen? Shouldn’t one criticize rather the aesthetic deficit that most rap deals in? or even better the fact that Kanye didn’t even go to college

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